I’ve Always Had Goals Thanks To Tony Robbins

4 Nov

I was always told that I was smarter than the other kids. I find proof while looking through an old letter from my grandpa dated 1987. “We showed your letter to another woman whose granddaughter is in second grade and she said that your writing was much more advanced than her granddaughter’s.”  (I was in first grade).

At the end of the letter, he asked me to write him again. I did write. A lot. The reason I know this is because I have many many letters from my grandparents stacked in many plastic boxes in my bedroom. What does this mean? It means I wrote letters. Maybe nothing more. It means I communicated my thoughts and feelings and actions. I told stories about my life, even then.

Another thing I found intermixed with all of the letters was literally version after version of my goals. For this I blame Tony Robbins. My dad started listening to him when I was 10. I remember him getting the Personal Power tapes. After hearing how great they seemed to be for my dad, I started listening to them, too. I still remember “TAKE ACTION!” That was Tony’s mantra on one of the tapes.

So when I found my goals from when I was 16, I wasn’t surprised. This was the year before the summer that I went away to Law Camp, so I’m sure I was putting a lot of pressure on myself. Written down were virtually impossible goals that all together would never be achieved! Maybe separately and broken down some of these could have been workable, but in my mind, I had to do everything on the list.

Along with my 110 body weight goal, I wanted perfect skin, A’s in Physics, Pre-Calculus, English, History, and basically every class I was taking and would take. I wanted to give up chocolate for a month, I wanted to spend quality time with my family and my dog. I wanted to discover who God and Jesus were and have a relationship with them. I wanted to get a 30 or 31 on my ACT. I wanted the perfect guy with a great smile. I wanted to be more independent and less needy. I wanted to keep in touch with all of my old friends. Do you know how many old friends I had at 16?! Not nearly as many as I have at 30, but still…

What was I thinking? Where did I get this idea that I could do all of that? How in the world did I think that if somehow I managed in my free time to obtain all of those goals, it would make me happy? I’m not trying to condemn myself, I’m just finally recognizing how impossible it all seems and how normal it used to be for me to demand that I do these things. Doing was my normal. Trying was my M.O.

I think about that world I was in. A world away from now. Wow, my goals are different. Some are the same.

-Be okay with the gray.

-Be in the moment.

-Love people well.

-Live authentically.

-Rely on Jesus.

-Sleep more. (the same)

-Spend quality time with the people I love.

-Keep in touch with old friends (similar but not ALL of the old friends).

-Be okay with me and where I’m at today.

Changing from one mentality to another…that’s my journey. That’s where I’m at. I realize those 16 year old goals were incomplete and formed from the expectations both around me and within me.

So I’m learning to walk in the gray areas and be okay with not wanting all that I used to think I wanted. I know in my head that those things will never make me happy. I’m just waiting for my heart to catch up. 🙂


One Response to “I’ve Always Had Goals Thanks To Tony Robbins”

  1. Mary Robin November 5, 2010 at 12:03 am #

    You are such a gift. I am so glad to hear all the ways you have found to slow down and be more, the gray spots are so awesome! So love your writing too, amazing.

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